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I have dreams and aspirations just as we all have…

February 7, 2010

Now that I’m working and have a bit more freedom, there are a few things I wanna do. Over the last few weeks, I’ve FINALLY got to the weight I wanted to get to (and now, I’m gonna have a battle staying there – dunno whether I’m gonna put more on or lose it again) and I’m gonna start following a plan because I need some muscle definition and I want to be more toned (I actually really wanna be like Jazz). Chris is my inspiration because he’s changing his life and I’m so looking forward to his work suits ;)

I want to do:

  • Dance
  • Tae Bo
  • Ice skating
  • Running

As I don’t like lifts (an actual phobia), I use the stairs at work so that’ll help with my fitness too! If I can get up early enough, I can go jogging once around the park with Daniel before work and if not, I can go after with him – I think he’s looking forward to it! Hopefully as time goes on, I can run further. I just know that on the first time out, I’ll die before we get back to the top of the park! Charlie said he’ll do Tae Bo with me (I think he needs to get his aggression out too) and we’ll need space to do it because it’s a cross between boxing and taekwondo as well as being cardovascular aerobics which are hard but they work. Hardwork :P Maybe the pair of them can come ice skating with me too!

I’m gonna be so busy. Also I wanna do my Interior Design course too. Sigh.

I can’t wait :)

Tippy x

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Derek would be proud!

February 2, 2010

When I was 16, I had a group of friends who were a mixture of boys and girls. One weekend, we stayed at our friend’s house (we did this nearly every Saturday for that whole summer) and that particular night, one of the girls drank nearly a whole bottle of vodka (you know the square shaped bottles) so she was asleep upstairs. The rest of us were sitting the front room, all the lights off and the tv on, just flicking through the channels (probably music channels) and I was sat on the end of the sofa, near the hallway door. I saw someone walk past towards the stairs. I thought, “hmm, I thought we were all in here” so I asked and I was right, other than the girl upstairs. My friend, who lives in the house, looked at me like I had just said something outstanding. He then went onto say that there is a spirit of an old man in their house; their whole family had seen him. His mum told me about it the next morning when I told her about what I saw.

Something else that happened that night was when we were settling down to sleep. I wasn’t sleepy at all. Suddenly, I heard someone crying out my name. It sounded like someone who was really scared and distressed, almost wailing. I sat up and I was so certain of what I was hearing (I actually thought it was the girl upstairs calling me), I woke my boyfriend up and made him come with me. When we got upstairs, I couldn’t hear it anymore. I went into the room where the girl was sleeping and she was just sitting in the middle of the floor, as calm as anything. She insisted that she wasn’t calling my name.

6 years later, I’m still 100% sure of what I heard and what I saw. Some people may dismiss it as my imagination but this isn’t the first time it happened to me. I believe in spiritualism. Maybe not “ghosts” but certainly in the energies in the earth. I believe that there is residual energy left behind by souls and that everything is sewn into the fabric of buildings, almost like a photograph, captured in time. If that makes sense. I feel that I can sense things, I know when there’s something there. I mean, I can’t go into a house and say, “ooh, there’s a young girl child” a lá Justin aka Derek Johnson aka Derek Acorah.

This all started when I was quite young and there’s a room in my nan’s house which I always really didn’t like. It’s at the front and it’s a small room where my uncle used to sleep (RIP Stephen). The wallpaper was old fashioned, the wardrobes still full of his clothes. My nan and grandad used to keep the chest freezer in there as well as it being my nan’s sewing room. I pretty much used to refuse to go in there one my own and never liked going upstairs alone. As the years went by, the room got redecorated but the feeling never left me. One night, when I was about 12 or 13, I was trying to sleep in the back bedroom. My nan was sound asleep in the other bed on the other side of the room as she knew I didn’t like being in there on my own.

As I tried to sleep, I was certain I saw a white shape jump across the room and thinking back on it now, I’m not so sure it’s what I thought it was. As the years went by again, I was staying at my nan and grandad’s again and we were just downstairs watching tv in the evening, it was probably about 8 or 9 o’clock. All of a sudden, I heard banging around upstairs. I looked at my grandparents and my grandad said, “oh, don’t worry, it’s just our ghost”. Now, my grandad is a very intelligent witty man and I’m the only person in the world who gets his jokes as they tend to go over other people’s heads and he can be quite cynical when he wants to be. I know when he’s being serious and that night, he was. Naturally, I just stared at him, wondering if he was being serious or not because admittedly, sometimes it’s hard to tell. My nan, who usually rebuffs his jokes, went onto say that she sometimes feels someone blowing on her face when she’s trying to sleep in the back room. Some time after, I spoke to my mum and my auntie Jacqueline about it and they told me it was true and they had too seen/sensed things in that house when they lived there. They went on to say that they believed that it was their uncle Charlie, my grandad’s twin.

In March 2008, I split up with Chris for seven weeks and one of those weeks, I stayed there. My nan stayed in the back room with me but I feel that whoever was there has gone now. Upstairs still has it’s feeling but it’s certainly not as intense as it was. I hope that whoever it was found their door and passed through it peacefully.

My house certainly isn’t haunted and neither is Chris’ so why do we see what we see? An old man called Jim owned our house before we did. I used to talk about Jim. I knew what he looked like. He died before I was born. At the top of our stairs, sometimes you can smell tobacco. Not just ordinary tobacco but the kind you get in cigars. It used to get really strong and there was nowhere for it to come from – we say, “I can really smell Jim today” and that’s how we always used to refer to it. As the years went on it became less and less common. Now it’s rarely said. When I was little, I used to describe my nan who had passed away before I was born. Obviously, I didn’t know what she looked like but my mum always used to wonder how I knew. A few years ago, my uncle stayed at ours and he and my dad went to the pub one night. My uncle sat on a wall and refused to move despite my dad desparately trying. My mum was the only one that got him to move. The next day, she swears that she saw my nan standing in the hallway where a picture of all her sons and her daughter hangs. My mum thinks that she was protecting her son. when we saw Derek at Fairfield Halls (for a laugh mainly), he started talking about an old lady with one leg in a wheelchair and pointed in my general direction. I swear that if he came and spoke to me, I would’ve been a believer.

Where the PC is, it’s quite easy to see something out of the corner of your eye and when Charlie said that he could see someone standing there, I used to say, yeah sure until I saw it myself. It’s so clear that I actually nearly spoke to it once because I thought it was someone in the kitchen! When I was drying my hair once in my mum and dad’s room, I saw someone walk past the bedroom! As before, it was so clear that I honestly thought it was someone else!

When me and Chris used to sleep downstairs in the back room, at night time someone ran around Scott’s room above. Thump, thump, thump etc. Scott is 25 years old and there’s no room to run around in his bedroom. As I lay awake at night, I wondered what the hell it was. The next day, I told Chris about it. When we started sleeping upstairs again, someone ran up and down the stairs and again, I mentioned it to Chris and he said, “yeah, I know” which means it’s not my imagination. If you walk past the bottom on the loft conversion’s stairs you see someone sitting on the stairs. Chris described seeing exactly the same thing as me before I managed to tell him the whole story. Do we share the same imagination? I think not. He’d know more about his house than I do.

In addition to Jim and my nan in my house, Dolly Dog is still there too. I hear her barking sometimes, hear her tapping around at night. Quite often, I’m tempted to call for her. Sometimes I think I even see her under my feet. My Dolly foot sensors are still active. And even my dad, the most pessimisstic man I know, admitted that he senses her/hears her sometimes. I think she chose not to cross over yet. It’s been nearly a year since she was gone already. When Ruby died, she was gone, we couldn’t feel her there anymore, same with Princess but Dolly being who she was, she obviously decided to stay.

In regards to Ruby, she was with us when we went to Selsey in October 2007, we know that. There was no way she’d miss out on that :P

So what does this all mean? Everyone has their own opinions and their own feelings about it. It’s been a long time since I felt anything in a place; it actually grew stronger but now I’m probably out of practice.

What do you think? Comments below :)

Derek Jr x

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I’m bored.

January 31, 2010

Yep, you read it right, I am indeed BORED. I wanted to watch the next episode of season seven of The X-Files (“Via Negativa”) but for some reason, my laptop wouldn’t play it. Kept making a really weird noises. It played it before because I watched it on here before and the other episodes on the disc worked?

Anyways.

Work again tomorrow, I wonder what fun things I’ll be given to do to pass my five hours. Hmm…

A little while ago, Chris bought loads of games and most of the characters in all of the games have been in Project Zero 3, Grim and Evil, Dexter’s Lab, Ben 10, Xensaga, Dark Cloud 2… lol it’s really weird. The guy who played Kei in PZ3 is in an episode of Bones called “The Superhero in the Alley”. Chris wants to watch that one episode to see him. lol.

My nose is really tingling, hope I’m not getting a cold. I had porridge earlier and it’s burnt my tongue :(

I feel like posting a picture.

Sigh.

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Yes, so… Um… I was meant to update wasn’t I?

January 30, 2010

As to last night, I was tired and couldn’t be bothered to write and fell asleep at 11:30pm… Hmm.

So last Monday(!), I started my new job. I love the building and the area it’s in; it’s the heart of derelict Croydon which if you know me, you’d know that I love that stuff. I can see the near derelict St. George’s Walk from my office window! Gah, I love it. I was told that the whole St. George’s Walk area was due to be demolished and developed but the buyer pulled out. The government is now trying to get people back in the buildings. The kitchen overlooks Pop World and Victorian Croydon (and you know how I feel about all things Victorian!). It’s weird being in a big (half derelict) building rather than in two little units in the middle of an industrial estate in the middle of nowhere. There’s a near empty vending machine and we’re next to an accountants and a computer company. The first, second and third floors are empty! I think the third floor has people on it sometimes cos I’m sure there was a light on at some point during the week. I use the stairs as I hate lifts but we’re not on the 10th floor or anything (there isn’t a 10th floor) so I don’t mind the stairs. They remind me of the marbled stairs you get in school, actually.

So when I started on Monday, there was Jackie the boss and someone else who works on Mondays and Thursdays. I was only there for an hour so that doesn’t count :P

So Tuesday… um… what did I do? Not a lot. Worked out my times as 10am to 2:30pm, Monday to Friday. We looked at the website and decided what we would do to change it. Um… then I went home. Oh wait, I think that’s when we had an induction thing.

Wednesday, someone called Carlon started. I like him but he’s a bit weird and talks to himself, praising himself and telling himself that’s he’s a genius… Not used to having a male in the office. lol. I typed up the thing for the website and started something else (what was it?). Oh yeah, the Croydon Women’s Scheme Information Sheet. Then I went home.

Thursday, I finished the WS thing (I think). Why can’t I remember anything about Thursday?

Friday, I went through the Benefits manual and Googled, Wiki’d and wrote down things that needed updating as the booklet came out in 2004. To be honest, I just think that she wants to give me stuff to do! Most of the manual was still up to date as well.

There was other stuff I was gonna write about but I can’t remember it now. Everytime I answer the rarely ringing phone, I’m always nearly saying Zafron. Lol. Habit, I guess :P

What else has happened this week? Chris started playing my X-Files game and LOL at Polygon Mulder, Polygon Scully, Polygon Skinner, Polygon Lone Gunmen, Polygon Krychek, Polygon Marita and Polygon CGB Spender! They have their mannerisms and it’s high-larious.

OOH! I didn’t write about Manda’s birthday, did I? It was so good seeing her after ages (August)! She looked gorgeous! Took us 45 minutes to get there as we got lost in Croydon (don’t ask). We were there until about 10:30pm but still, seeing Manda was the reason I was there. Now I’m working in Croydon, I’ll see her more I hope!

I keep getting a pain in my ear :(

What else was I gonna talk about? I dunno. Oh, we got a tiny bit of snow last night! I thought it was all over but obviously not. I mean, it’s still snow season and the stuff that we’d get now will be our usual westerly snow, not the hard stuff we got from the east at the end of December/early January so it wouldn’t stick around for as long. The sky is clear blue at the moment. It was -1 earlier but my weather gadget is saying it’s 2 degrees now. It was practically a heatwave with temperatures of 7 degrees the other week!

Anyways. Might add more later (I always say that, don’t I?)

Tippy x

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Oh yeah.

January 29, 2010

I was meant to have updated, wasn’t I? (Don’t shoot me grammar police).

I will later when I’ve eaten and had a nice glass of vino. Yes.

Tipsy x

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Open that door!

January 25, 2010

Too tired. Will tell you tomorrow.

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When you see me crashing and there’s nowhere left to fall, will you lift me higher to rise above this all?

January 23, 2010

That is all.

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And I didn’t do that before because…

January 21, 2010

Ok, I didn’t know you could until I created a test blog for *someone’s logo I made.

Feeling really tired still. Didn’t get much sleep night before last (if you had been reading this blog before, you’d know about my DSPS) and I’m still tired! So after yesterday’s mega update about Aquarian’s and how it’s the month of the Aquarian (good luck!), I don’t have a lot to say.

Amanda’s party on Saturday – really looking forward to it. Been far too long since I last saw her. Think it was in August or something! Still haven’t had an email from that place so I’ll probably have to end up ringing them. So not prepared lol. Still need to find the clothes I’m gonna wear. Added: Just rung them to ask for an email so she’s gonna send me one. How annoying!

The Job Centre have rung me three times now to ask me what I’ll be doing. *Sigh*.

Just said that winter is passing really quickly this year! Only two more months until spring! Of course, that also means that it’s my birthday soon too.

Paid my Orange bill and they haven’t switched my signal back on yet. Why can’t anybody do anything anymore? So the mood I’m in today is frustrated. Yes.

Laptop update:
Same as before, a bit slow in parts but running A LOT faster than it was when I first got it back. So glad I finally got off my bum and got it fixed. Why the eff did I wait that long? See, I have a real problem with motivation and actually doing things.

Went to Sutton yesterday and when I went to the interiors section of Wilkinsons, I just felt at home. It just seems natural to be around wallpaper, furniture and cushions. I still want to be an interior designer, that hasn’t left me and I haven’t changed my mind. I told Chris yesterday that our house is gonna be beautiful because I’m going to design it :P It’s gonna have a mix of stuff in it; old fashioned Victorian/Edwardian with a modern twist. Think the dining room has to be a gothic affair! There’s loads of stuff from Alchemy Gothic that we want, namely this:

Garden of Eden Intimity Glass
Exotic, serpentine, double glass for sharing those special, intimate occasions. Two intertwined, solid pewter snakes incorporating a central rose vial, forming the holders for the pair of separate glasses, each trimmed with black heart-crystal finials. 20 cm (8″) high overall.

I think it’s beautiful! When me and Chris first got together, we were looking through some Alchemy Gothic catalogues and that was the first thing he said he liked and I loved it when I first saw it. It’s expensive though! On average, it’s about £130!

Wrote a lot for Danzatore the other night. Actually wrote another huge milestone in it. The rest of the story needs some work though; needs a lot of filler! It’s 102 pages at the moment and 60.5k words! Good, huh? Have a good feeling about this one too. I never finished Iris but one day I will. I see promise in that one too. Think I might plan the rest of it because I was just writing that one by ear!

My leg is going to sleep.

Not much else to write about now.

Bai!

Tippy x

*name changed.