Things to say.

I really suck at keeping a blog right? Don’t answer that. I actually have a lot to write about but I don’t know how I would say it.

2011 started on a pretty low point. I couldn’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. My money from JSA had been stopped in November. I couldn’t find a job. I had almost no money. I had things to pay for. I was in trouble and it had been getting worse for months because I like to bury my head in the sand. But something changed when the Wheel turned on the 20th of March. That light at the end of the tunnel started off as a pinprick but slowly grew; I just couldn’t see it yet.

In February I decided to change my spirituality. Christened as a baby, I was felt I had a duty to have some sort of believe in Christianity. I love the symbolism of it and I love the faith itself. But I have never been a Christian. As you may have noticed from other entries, I love the earth. I believe in Mother Nature and believe that she is in control. Chris brought me back two books from the charity shop, ‘Wicca’ and ‘Paganism’, as a joke in reference to Buffy and Willow. Something clicked in my head. This is the path I have been on for all of my life. I just didn’t understand it yet. I came to realise that this is what I truly believed in. Everything the book said made sense to me and when I got to the part that said:

“Mining, logging, deforestation, the lowering of the water table, all these short-term economic benefits were persued at the expense of the long-term viability of our planet. Nature was seen as available for exploitation; we were in control. We were wrong. The powers of the elements are not under our control. We cannot hold back the seas that erode our coastlines, the gales that destroy cities and forests, the raging forest fires of over-dry summers, or the earthquakes and volcanoes that threaten to engulf some of our land. Climatic change, global warming, environmental conferences, CFC gases; our newspapers are full of such phrases. Nature is like our mother. We can abuse her and she will tolerate us because we are her children; but there will become a point where she has had enough. The Great Mother gives birth to our species, but she also receives us into death.” – Vivienne Crowley

I knew that is something I have agreed with all of my life. Finally I have found the path that I can follow and one I understand. Some will associate Wicca with witchcraft and they would be correct. But not all Wiccans call themselves witches and not all witches call themselves Wiccans. It is a spirituality where there are no set guidelines or rules (other than the Wiccan Rede and their own Book of Shadows). There is no bible or other holy book. Each Wiccan is free to follow his or her own path. I am going to be an eclectic Wiccan which means I will be borrowing from different traditions and making my own which most definitely suits me! I will have my Sabbat altar where I will celebrate the Wheel of the Year. I will have my Sabbat rituals and will do them skyclad (yes naked) and I will have a cauldron (a symbol for the womb and fertility – not hubble tubble toil and trouble). But I will not be a witch. Not yet anyway I will have a besom/broom which is a symbol for luck. Witches got the notion of flying on their brooms from flying ointment which made them high and made them believe they were actually flying! I will celebrate Hallowe’en with more glee than I already do (I knew there had to be a reason for loving Hallowe’en so much!!!). My easter starts on the 20th of March, not when people take the cue from Christianity (even non-religious types!). My Christmas has become Yule and starts on the 21st of December.

My aunt Jacqueline is a Buddhist and she has her own sanctuary in her flat. Some Wiccans borrow from Buddhist beliefs. She is pleased that I have chosen a similar path.

Last week I was at my lowest point. My mum sorted out my money problems but I still had no money. On Wednesday, I got a missed call and it turned out to be from a job I applied for about 2 weeks ago. I was invited to an interview and the job is in Kingston. We arranged it for Friday morning.

I chose my black shirt, my navy trousersuit and my Arabian Glow Teal Waters nail varnish and a matching necklace and eyeshadow. I caught the train at 09:18 and got to Kingston at 10:25. I got to the place and I liked it straight away. Although small, it was familiar to me and had a display of laptop chargers in the counter. I got to see the man at 11:15ish. The interview went very well and I think he liked me because of my experience. So afterwards, I went off and wandered around Kingston for about fifteen minutes before getting bored and catching the train to go home. I was home in just over an hour and I was shattered after waking up at 6:30am.

At around 3pm, I started drifting off to sleep. My phone rang at 3:30pm and I was offered the job. I’m gonna enjoy getting the train in the morning

So in one week, my life changed. It is funny how these things happen. As I said, I definitely felt something shift when the Wheel turned and it was Ostara. It is the time of of fertility, birth and renewal. Pretty appropriate that this has happened at this time of year. Do you see why I feel so connected to it? I don’t expect you to understand but it is what I believe in. It is what I have always believed in. I just didn’t fully know it yet (I always had a ‘feeling’ but I never knew what it was).

Another thing I wanted to talk about was the earthquakes and tsunami that occured in Japan on the 11th of March. I feel other than my love for Japan, it is appropriate for what I have been saying about Mother Nature and how she is in control and has always been. I am heartbroken by what happened and I know that they will get back on their feet.

I also have another entry about Selsey and their connection to the sea coming up (I even gathered news articles a while ago!).

Oh! And another thing which doesn’t relate to any of the above. Two words.

LAS. VEGAS.

This trip will be happening in around 2030 (ha) and it will consist of me, Chris, Raj, Chris G and Nicolai having the week of our lives in beautiful Nevada. We will get the plane to Atlanta then shall road trip across (I know it is a long way) to Nevada. We will lose money in the casinos, watch a booby show or three, swim in the Flamingo’s tropical pool, visit the Mob exhibition at the legendary Tropicana and best of all, visit the Little A’Le’Inn and Area 51. It will be amazing and I cannot wait.

Another thing.

Christina Aguilera. The Voice. With Adam Levine.

*Dies of too much fan girl goodness*

THAT IS A DREAM COME TRUE. My two favourite artists working together. I swear that of they collabo, I will die of happiness and will need to be rescusitated(sp???).

Ok, now I am rambling and not making much sense. I had my hair cut too. It is now just below my shoulders and I have a fringe. Yes. I like it and I am growing out the colour from December. It is much lighter than it was as well because I have been using the John Frieda Blonde stuff. Jane said that my hair is in terrible condition and I had to get it into better condition before she will do anything with it. I want blonde highlights again.

Ok bye.

Tippy x

PS:- I guess I did know how to say it afterall.

My Delayed Sleep Phase Syndrome.

Delayed Sleep Phase Syndrome (DSPS)

When I was five, my mum and dad took me to a sleep clinic because my body clock was very wrong. I’d sleep in until about 3pm and not sleep until late at night. I think the doctor’s told them that I’d grow out of it and guess what? I never did.

Delayed sleep-phase syndrome (DSPS), also known as delayed sleep-phase disorder (DSPD) or delayed sleep-phase type (DSPT), is a circadian rhythm sleep disorder, a chronic disorder of the timing of sleep, peak period of alertness, core body temperature, hormonal and other daily rhythms relative to societal norms. People with DSPS tend to fall asleep some hours after midnight and have difficulty waking up in the morning.

I remember when I was little (this is probably how I used to watch The X-Files before I could read properly) and I used to get out of bed and Martin used to shout, “Charlotte’s out of bed!” and the thing was, it wasn’t my fault that I was awake late! My mum and dad obviously knew something wasn’t right because they took me to see someone about it. Even when I had a routine I was struggling with my sleep patterns. When I was at school and when I was at 6th form, I used come home from Chris’ at 10pm and sometimes if Martin was on the PC, I’d go straight to bed. It’d take me hours to fall asleep and I’d still have difficulty waking up in the morning. You could say that I’m awake all night because I sleep late – I’m up late because I’m awake all night. My body clock is messed up.

Often, people with the disorder report that they cannot sleep until early morning, but fall asleep at about the same time every “night”. Unless they have another sleep disorder such as sleep apnea in addition to DSPS, patients can sleep well and have a normal need for sleep. Therefore, they find it very difficult to wake up in time for a typical school or work day. If, however, they are allowed to follow their own schedules, e.g. sleeping from 4 a.m. to noon, they sleep soundly, awaken spontaneously, and do not experience excessive daytime sleepiness.
The syndrome usually develops in early childhood or adolescence,[1] and sometimes disappears in adolescence or early adulthood. Depending on the severity, it can be to a greater or lesser degree treatable. Prevalence among adults, equally distributed among women and men, is approximately 0.15% or three in 2000.

I think now that I don’t have a routine, it’s really prevalent. It says on the Wikipedia that it’s responisble for 7-10% of people’s chronic insomnia so yay me! ¬_¬ I can literally stay up all night even if I had to get up early. I do not have a regular sleep pattern. Funny thing is, when I go on holiday, I have a perfectly normal one! I can still go to bed late and wake up at a semi normal time!

The major feature of these disorders is a misalignment between the patient’s sleep pattern and the sleep pattern that is desired or regarded as the societal norm…. In most circadian rhythm sleep disorders, the underlying problem is that the patient cannot sleep when sleep is desired, needed or expected.

That last bit is true and so incredibly annoying! It’s usually when I have to get up early and just cannot sleep! The article is an interesting read and it tells you a bit more about me and my sleeping issues. There’s loads more I can quote – bits that I nodded at and it rang true with me. It’s good that I finally understand my issues! (Well, not all of them )

I would say, ‘so onto other things’ but I have nothing else to say. Well, Raj and I are talking about Vincent Van Gogh and how I relate to him (I actually to, don’t mock me!!!). My mum even said that “Vincent” by Don McClean could be about me. No one appreciates me or my art! (by art, I mean my photography and writing. If you want to see my photograpy, there’s a link on the right ). Maybe people will understand me before I go mad and top myself. As the song says, no one understands me and no one is willing to. But that’s ok. I don’t need people’s approval. At least all the time.

It was pouring down earlier! I was gonna clean the bunnies out but it started and then it got dark

X-Factor time and Stacey is on. I love her, I think she’s great. I said last week that I want her or Joe to win, definitely! Her singing was good but the song was a bit dull.

Anyway, laters. Might update in a bit

x

Selsey Storm Articles!

Yep, updating again =P

I found two articles from the BBC from 1998 and 2000 about storms in Selsey. The one from 2000 mentions about the complex being damaged and I remember a news reporter being on the beach when the windows smashed! The second one is shocking, even if you know Selsey as well as I do. It’s UN-BE-LIEV-ABLE.

Article from 1998 and the article from 2000.
In regards to the second one, the bits I laughed at and thought, “yep, that sounds like Selsey” were:

“But most of the holidaymakers had left the park at the weekend, and there were no serious injuries.”

The storm happened, luckily, right at the end of the season! We could’ve been there, seeing as we’ve been going there nearly every year since 1994! I can’t remember when we started going there in October though. Shall have to ask my mum.

“John Bunn, managing director of the caravan park, said it had sustained about £500,000 of damage, mainly glass broken by flying debris and pebbles from the beach.”

The woman we bumped into when we went off to find our old caravans said that it’s the pebbles and shingle that does the most damage to the park! That’s why they put the nets up outside of the complex! The sea and wind just pick up the pebbles and throws them!

“”It was a freak weather occurrence. It could have been a lot worse. We had 7,000 people here on Saturday,” Mr Bunn said.”

That proves what I said about it being the biggest caravan park in Europe and the Embassy being packed to the rafters so don’t think he’s exaggerating! I’ve seen Selsey when it’s full, believe me =P

“We warned people who were still here last night that there were strong winds coming, giving them the chance to leave if they wanted to.”
Staff had spent Monday assessing the damage and making the park safe. The site had been closed a day early, and any remaining holidaymakers had left.

That’s what happened two years later when we were there. I can still remember it so clearly; where we were in the Embassy, what we were wearing, everything. I remember being very scared =P My mum made a joke about going back to the caravan and it’d be floating in the sea with a red setter standing on the roof! Little did we know that caravans can really be swept into the sea in Selsey…

A spokesman for West Sussex Fire Brigade said that Selsey’s tendency to suffer from severe weather was “just one of those things I’m afraid”.
“I don’t think you could ever get used to it,” he said.
“We’re two-and-a-half miles out to sea, and whatever comes down the channel I’m afraid’s going to hit Selsey.”

This is very true! This is basically what I said in my “Save Our Selsey” article and which is why the campaign is SO important. It makes me so sad that it’s one of those things that we have to accept. I bet that when Mr. Bunn opened West Sands Caravan Park in 1959, he didn’t know that it would be the worst place to set up a caravan park.

Astronomer Patrick Moore, who lives in Selsey and saw the previous tornado first hand, said he was lucky to have been out of the way.
“It must have been less than a quarter of a mile from where the previous whirlwind hit.
“I can’t explain it. It is said that lightning never strikes twice, but clearly the same is not true of tornados. It makes me quite nervous to go outside.”

Patrick Moore speaks the truth! I must find out where he lives and go and see his house! Selsey isn’t a big town so it can’t be far! I’m sure you could probably spot his observatory a mile off =P Next time I’m in Selsey, I must go and find it.

edit:

Raj just sent me this:

Dear Raj,
Here is your horoscope for
Saturday, November 14:
Your community focus is especially strong right now — so get out there and make the world a better place! Your great energy is perfect for volunteer work or starting up new movements.

He also said that it was time to go and save Selsey =P